Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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