Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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