This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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