So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's no shave November. This is our time.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
