I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
