my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
