I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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