so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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