so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
