you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
