Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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