They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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