Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
