so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
