We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
