Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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