Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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