We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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