Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
