woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
