Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
