a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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