And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
