Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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