also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
