Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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