I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
