Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
