White coat. Heels.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
