i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
