He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
