Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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