I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
