im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
