She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
