why didn't you poke me back
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
