the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
