you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
