I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
