It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
