She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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