They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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