THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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