So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
