I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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