Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just pee around me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
