the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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