i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
