dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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