Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
